They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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