sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
