You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
