Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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