ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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