We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
