After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
