i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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