i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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