I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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