so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
