Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
