I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
