I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
