i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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