The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's never too late to be topless.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
