no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
