People in love make me want to vomit
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
