You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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