just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
