Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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