If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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