My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
