Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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