we're chasing vodka with high fives
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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