you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
