no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
