i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
