I'm so fucking centered right now
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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