so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
