Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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