I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I want is dick and wine.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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