it's like her boobs came off with her bra
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
