you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
