I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it's like iHOP with fire
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
