i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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