no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize