Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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