Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
