we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
