Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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