I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
