If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
