you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
