hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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