i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
