what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
