He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
