So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
