Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
