i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
