gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
